I can hear my sister giggling as she reads this.
“Unplan your life!”– my sister
A mantra that she has tried to instill in me for the last 29.99 years.
2 weeks before my 30th birthday I am brought back to the post I wrote a year ago. A self-indulgent list of all the things I will accomplish by my 30th birthday.
I have 14 days to get so much of it done and its left me feeling a little underwhelmed.
Related: 30 Things Before Turning 30
I had planned so many wonderful accomplishments and was adamant that I would be ticking every single one off of the list by the first of next month.
- Then life happened
- A pandemic happened
- A medical complication happened
- Working from home happened
- Social distancing happened
- Isolation happened
- Summer, Autumn and Winter came and went.
The start of Spring arrived and with it brought the smell of flowers and the party season in the air.
This is usually my absolute favourite time of year but this year there is an air of disappointment as we come to realise that life is not what we have always known it.
That a year ago we could never have imagined it like it is.
So, unplan your life, or you might be left with a long list and a long face when you look back at all the things you DIDN’T achieve in the last 365 days.
Today I am going to dissect my 30 before 30 list. Some items I will happily cross off. Some I will remove from the list all together and some I will realise were too ambitious in the first place.
Goals are important. They keep you going. They give you checkpoints to remind you how far you have come. So, I won’t be deleting my list and ‘going with the flow’, just altering it a little as I enter the next phase of my life. My 30’s.
Here we go!
– TICK! Nailed this one pretty early on and as a result we are grateful everyday of lockdown as we have so much space to run around both in and outside the house!
2.Create an income source other than my real-estate career.
This is a great goal. It’s about self-fulfilment outside of my 9-5. But it’s not a 365 day kind of goal. It’s a journey and I am writing right now so that is something. I was excited when I was told I would be working from home. I expected that I would be able to work on my side hustle in my lunchbreaks and get a lot of work done here. Unfortunately, I have been busier than ever with work so ill just keep working at it.
3.Travel overseas at least twice. We had planned to go to Bali in March so that was 1 trip just about ticked off the list, the plan was to spin the globe and see where the finger lands (or look up where’s got cheap flights).
HAHAHAHAHA who knows when we will get to travel again. This one is coming OFF the list for now. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t a huge goal for me, it is! But we will never stop going on holidays and I don’t think I need to put pressure on myself to do so.
4.Buy a personal laptop
Working from home means my work laptop is at home 24/7. Close enough for now!
5.Conquer body image goals. Centralized around strength training and muscle toning.
Yes and no. I have lost a considerable amount of weight since my 29th birthday. I am happy in my own skin. Body image goals (as a mama with a tumma) totally fine. Unfortunately, I have not been able to go to the gym at all during lockdown (and due to medical issues) so I will get back there when I can.
6.Pay off my credit card debt.
Another nope. I have made a dent which is a HUGE accomplishment considering I had some urgent medical issues come up which have put us out of pocket a tonne. I’ll just keep chipping away at this one. I will say that I am changing this goal to be ‘stop using credit card as a backup and create a budget’
7.See a psychic.
Another one I will get to when I get to it. At the moment I don’t think even a psychic knows when the heck we will be out of this lockdown and in the clear to get on with our lives. I think seeing one at this point in time may be a little frivolous.
8.Learn to read my own tarot cards.
I actually got gifted my first deck of tarot cards for Christmas last year. I opened the box last week and read through the instructions and taught myself how to do a spread. I don’t know why it took me so long to do this but I think in the spirit of the event everything happens when it is supposed to. Ticking this one off the list!
9.Family road trip. Bought a new car last year and haven’t had a chance to take it for a good long drive yet, so looking forward to going potentially interstate with the bubs and hubby.
Another item, like traveling that I will remove from the list. Lockdown means we haven’t been able to achieve this but it is definitely something that will happen when it can, although is less of a bucket list event.
10.Quit smoking… for good. I quite before getting pregnant (un-related) and then recently picked it up again. I’m not proud of it!
Working from home, being stressed to the eyeballs all day and this goal has done a reverse. I need to at least cut down but the goal of quitting hasn’t shifted. I feel like it will be soon. Every time I have quit (yes there has been a few times) I have simply decided spur of the moment and that has been it! I can feel that moment coming.
11.Do regular colonic hydrotherapy.
See: Keto Diet. Anyone who has done keto knows that this is no longer necessary (I know TMI haha).
12.Make peace with my parents. This one might take until my 40s but I’ll give it a go.
This one needs to be renamed. Make peace with myself. I know I can’t change the people who are my parents. They are their own unique individuals who come with good and bad traits. Over the last 18 months of being a mother I have a new-found perspective on this too. I am actually able to put myself in their shoes and this has allowed me a totally different perspective. I think of when Jaxon is in his 20s and not a fan of all of my beliefs and opinions and how it would really hurt me if he were to resent me for it. So, I am ticking this off the list MUCH earlier than anticipated. The key to making peace with your parents is making peace with yourself and realizing that you wouldn’t be the person you are if they were the perfect parents. They are who they are and despite their emotional absence, one day I will miss them, all of them.
13.Finish my e-book series and start selling online.
I finished 2 books this year! YAY I am still trying to find the time to figure out how to sell and market them. Stay tuned.
14.Colour in more.
You know what gets a toddler to keep still? Drawing! My colouring in sessions may not be the quiet meditation that I thought it would be but chalk on the sidewalk, as well as crayons and textas is so much fun! Just kidding… (well not really) I have been introduced to paint by numbers so that has been amazing! And totally a form of colouring in TICK!
15.Have another baby/ get pregnant.
This one has been the hardest fail to grapple with. After finding out I need surgery and then that surgery being delayed almost a year now… It looks like it will still be a while before Jaxon has a sibling. I am trying to stay positive about this one by telling myself that it just means I get to enjoy Jax one-on-one for a little longer.
16.Cull all the clutter in my house. Get rid of stuff by selling, gifting and donating. Marie Kondo style!
Well this kind of happened when we moved house but now that we have a bigger house we seem to have accumulated more stuff!! Funny how that works. Although the house is big enough that the stuff doesn’t even look cluttered so I’m going to give myself another pat on the back here. TICK!
17.Go for more walks. During pregnancy this was a daily occurrence. Spring is here and I want to start this amazing habit again.
TICK! We are lucky to live by the Eastlink walking trail so we have beautiful parks to walk through. I also have my sister-in-law a few minutes down the road so any excuse to walk down and borrow some sugar!
18.Donate towels and buy dog/cat food for local animal shelter.
TICK! This one got knocked off the list first after writing it. I wanted to do something that wasn’t for myself as my initiation for the list. Done and dusted.
I feel a little guilty that I haven’t managed to do this one yet. Managing a toddler and trying to make an appointment is a little difficult but I PROMISE this will be on my list of things to do once lockdown lifts.
20.Go to a concert.
Well, that one may have to wait for a little while longer. At this rate with lockdown I’ll be rocking out in the mosh pit when I’m 50.
21.Print wedding photos on canvas and hang in house #pinterestgoals
I totally forgot about this one. Its been nearly 6 years since we got hitched. Really want to do this. Maybe for our anniversary… In February.
The thing about the borders being closed is that I don’t even necessarily need to go international or even interstate… Just get me out of this house! A camping trip is definitely something we need to arrange when we can. And the added bonus of supporting small businesses in rural areas is something I really want to do.
Now that Jax is walking we may wait until he can sit still and follow directions a little better. As fun as it will be with a kid, I’m a little hesitant #mumxiety Especially because last time we went the boat got bogged!
24.Go to the doctor for that thing I’ve been putting off.
Turns out I really shouldn’t have put this off. I found out that one of my breast-implants has ruptured and I need to have it taken out. Unfortunately, while the implant itself is covered under manufacturers warranty, the surgery itself isn’t so that is what has set us back in a LOT of the above plans. But I am happy that I have bitten the bullet and gone to the doctor to find out why I am in so much pain and that I will be getting this sorted out as soon as I can, on the other side of lockdown.
25.Take a beginner’s yoga class.
I was so close to doing this. Then lockdown happened and that was that! Lucky my work has arranged virtual yoga for next week so woohoo I get to tick this off the list! I will note that I will be doing this with my camera OFF and my mic MUTED hahaha
26.Go to the shooting range and shoot a real gun!
Not sure why this one is on my list before 30. Did I think that after 30 they wouldn’t let me into the shooting range? Another maybe one day, not important item being stripped from the list.
27.Hit 200,000 words written on my blog. Currently at 61,000 after 8 months.
This one is a tricky one because early this year I changed platforms for my blog and this new one doesn’t have a wordcount! I know that I haven’t hit this target though because I have not posted nearly as often as I would have liked. At this stage I am just grateful that I have stuck to it and even that I’ve had this blog as a creative outlet, keeping me sane in this insane world.
28.Climb the Kokoda Memorial 1000 steps
TICK! This was one of the first ones I ticked off the list late last year. It was hard work but totally worth it in the end! The pain and exhaustion have worn off of this one so I think I am ready to do it again. I’m going to put this on my ‘things to do every year’ list.
29.Swim under a waterfall
I feel like this will just happen when it’s supposed to. I’m not about chasing waterfalls.
30.Plan my 30th birthday!
WELL, I plan on whipping out my favourite PJs, going down the road to the corner store (within 5km) and buying my favourite bottle of wine… That’s about all I can plan at this stage. That, and spending MORE quality time with my bubba and hubby. At the moment this is the one I am most sad about. I was planning to go out on the town (something I do VERY rarely) and obviously that isn’t going to happen anymore. I’ve let go of that but all I really want to do is see my family and it looks like that isn’t even going to happen now either. Oh well, looking forward to turning 31 I guess!
Reflecting on this list in such a difficult time has definitely shown me how my perspective has changed from a year ago to now. It has made me aware of the things I really do want to achieve and also the things I’m just not worried about anymore.
It’s also taught me the valuable lesson of not planning too far in advance or putting pressure on myself for not achieving all my heart’s desires.
I have achieved so much in the last 12 months and all we tend to focus on is the stuff we missed out on.
So here are 5 things I have achieved before 30 that I know I should be epically proud of.
- Married and built an amazing life with an honest, loyal and hardworking man
- Given birth to my son, the love of my life
- Complete my Bachelor’s in Social Science (Psychology)
- Climbed the corporate ladder from assistant to department manager in 5 short years
- Adapted to a major life altering pandemic, learning to manage people and work from home while being a full-time mother to a toddler
So, at 30 years old, I’m not doing too bad.
I’ll leave you with this epic quote which pretty much sums up the message I’m getting from this endeavour.