Why Not Celebrating Valentine’s Day is the Best Decision We Ever Made for Our Relationship

Pizza on the couch. No gifts. No flowers. Here’s why it’s been the best decision we ever made.

Why Not Celebrating Valentine’s Day is the Best Decision We Ever Made for Our Relationship

No Pressure = No Disappointment

The last time we celebrated Valentine’s Day ended in a pile of tears and disappointment. Having failed to book a place for dinner, feeling the social pressure to check in on social media with ‘my valentine’ and advertising to the world how wonderfully in love we are.

Sitting in the car outside several restaurants as we called to see if they had any tables available, in between blaming each other for the whole mess. We ended up back at home, ordering pizza.

This is now our tradition. Well not the running around, arguing part. Just the pizza, at home, on the couch in front of whatever Netflix binge we are in the middle of.

Real Acknowledgement of Each Other

We have acknowledged that the expectation of getting each other a gift, flowers, chocolates, jewelry or whatever else is not a true representation of how our relationship is.

Our relationship is built on trust, loyalty and laughter. We don’t need to pretend that we have some amazingly romantic side to our relationship which involves fancy restaurants and dressing up. It’s just not us. We are the jeans (or leggings… lets be honest mamas) and t-shirt kind of couple who are happy being comfortable in our own home, chowing down on some uber eats.

When you get rid of the façade of Valentine’s Day you get to focus on the real substance left behind in a relationship. And luckily for us, there is an abundance. We have been married for 5 years this year, together for 9 years and we still have plenty to talk about, laugh about and debate. I would rather spend next Friday night doing exactly that, not sitting shoulder to shoulder in an over-packed, over-priced, under-serviced restaurant eating food we pretend to like. When we all know there is a double cheeseburger with our name on it on the way home.

Saving a Tonne of Cash

When we used to go out for these extravagant dinners, we would end up around $500 out of pocket, for 1 night of pretending.

Oh, you want to make a booking on Valentine’s Day? Sure, how about you book the “Lover’s Banquet” its like the regular banquet, but it’s for February 14th so a little more expensive. Don’t forget to order all the ‘signature’ cocktails and you better get your woman a rose from the busker selling them to people on the street, I mean, you do lover her right?

No thanks! We would rather pocket our cash (less the cost of a supreme with extra cheese).

February is Already our ‘Love Month’

Our anniversary is 21st February. To explain to you how little we like celebrating these ‘milestones’, we got engaged, and married on our anniversary. So, we get to kill 3 birds with one stone, one day every year.

Also, our son was born Feb 11th 2019 so February could not fit another Love Day in if it tried. If we have to omit 1, it’s going to have to be the Hallmark holiday which is February 14th.

Last year to mark the occasion of our anniversary we took our 11 day old son out for breakfast at a local café. At 2pm. Because being an 11 day old parent is just like that sometimes!

That’s the kind of people we are. Jeans, t-shirt, all-day-breakfast.

We Don’t Need an Excuse to Date Each Other

On a regular basis (maybe a little less regular since Jaxon came along) we make an effort to date each other. And I’m not talking about your ‘traditional’ dates. No going out for dinner and talking about the weather, no opening of car doors, no cheeky slide of the arm over my shoulders as we sit in a movie theater. Just the two (sometimes three) of us doing whatever it is we need to do… together.

Whether that be a trip to the local market, a visit to the chiro, a drive literally anywhere or taking turns getting a massage/watching baby.

These are the things we like to do when we spend quality time together. All we have done is place the hashtag #date onto it. And all this does is pinpoint the fact that we are spending quality time with each other which is really what it’s all about right?

Related: Our First Date Without Baby +++ OVER 40 DATE NIGHT IDEAS With and Without Baby

Final Thoughts

I am so glad that we have this unspoken pact of not getting caught up in the whirlwind of social media when it comes to these sorts of things.

This year we are both relaxed as we exchange stories of our work colleagues stressing about what to get their significant others, what to wear, where to book etc. We get all sorts of looks when we explain that we don’t ‘do’ Valentine’s day.

Although you may say that having pizza on the same day every year is a form of celebration, you probably don’t realise how often we get pizza. It really is just another Friday night.

Do you have an unconventional Valentine’s Day tradition? Have you boycotted the day all together?

I’d love to hear about it!

Much Love, Veronika Xx

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Valentine's Day. Why you should ditch the day

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Veronika Veale is a first time stay at home mum helping others make sense of motherhood through her love of writing.

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