Not sure how to announce to the world or even your family that baby has arrived? What about when to do it? Do you tell everyone you are in labour and how do you deal with people wanting to be a part of your special moment?
When I was pregnant with Jaxon, we knew early on that we wanted to experience his birth just the two of us (plus medical staff as required).
My family had other expectations about being present and we had to make it very clear of our wishes to not have them in the room.
As labour came closer we had more and more ‘offers’ for company and assistance, despite our constant ‘thanks, but no thanks’ response.
At one point I really felt like my message was not getting across and I was really nervous that I would be bombarded with people as soon as I went into labour. I also worried for Alan’s ability to fend off the do-gooders.
The other problem was the number of people in our family!
Baby Jax was born into an immediate family of 3 nanas, 1 grandpa, 5 aunties, 4 uncles! That’s a lot of people to get in touch with in such a pinnacle moment in time.
One option would have been to not tell them until after the baby was born and we were back at home. To be honest this option crossed my mind more than once; but at the same time, I felt that this may hurt some genuine people in the process.
I decided to draw up a plan of text messages that Alan could save in his phone and send to family when baby was on his way!
I know I am definitely not the only one with an over-bearing tribe of people and so I have decided to share these with you.
Use them as is, draw inspiration for your own messages or pin for later.
Text Message 1
This was to be sent out when I went into labour – truth be told I went into labour about 2am and it was only around 10am, that we decided it was time to let the family know.
We decided to leave it until we were almost ready to leave for the hospital as we didn’t want any surprise visitors at home.
In reality we changed our mind in the moment and Alan ended up calling the parents and only sending these messages to our siblings. It was still good to have them pre-prepared as we were in no state to come up with thoughtful and politically correct notifications.
This garnered excited emoji responses from the siblings, and more offers of assistance from all the parents, which were politely declined.
Text Message 2
During labour Alan messaged back and forth with the parents every few hours to update them. I was fine with this, as soon as I felt a contraction coming on, he put down that stupid phone and helped me through it.
The next message we had prepared was for when Jaxon was born. This is your standard birth announcement text. As we didn’t know what the birth had in store for us, we didn’t know how articulate we would be once Jax had finally arrived.
This is the template that we had saved in Alan’s phone. We weren’t sure about many details (the middle name included) so we left blanks for Alan to fill in later.
This message was sent to the whole family that night. We also sent it to friends and colleagues the next morning and posted a variation (minus the invite to visit the hospital) on social media as well.
Alan looks back and recalls the gassed up state I was in and the bewilderment he was experiencing after our marathon 12.5hour labour. He thanked me later for having pre-written this message in particular.
Text Message 3
Another thing you need to think about when you are giving birth in a hospital (or at home) is when you want to allow others to meet your little one.
I was pretty sure that I wouldn’t want visitors until we were settled in at home. It all changed once he was here and I was excited to show him off.
Plus, I realized all at once how frazzled I would be for a few days as we found our bearings with a baby in the house!
This of course will depend on the time you have your baby. Jax was born late at night so it’s not like a barrage of visitors was going to show up (although we did end up having some family members show up in the waiting room at the height of labour – who were less-politely asked to leave by a screaming me in labour).
It’s important to find out your hospital’s visiting hours so you can plan how your first day with baby is going to go.
As it was midnight by the time we were showed to our room, Alan was asked (politely) to leave and come back in the morning (the joys of the public system).
We discovered that there were two visiting timeslots. The first was 10am-12pm and then 3pm-5pm.
We decided that as Alan hadn’t had an opportunity to bond with his son yet, we would have family come the following afternoon and allow Alan some quality time with baby and me in the morning.
Now, Alan being my spouse was not confined to visiting hours so he came back to the hospital bright and early and stayed all day to get acquainted with Master Jaxon Romeo Veale.
That morning we filled in the blanks to the following text template:
It may seem a little direct or even passive aggressive but we wanted to make sure that the family were not all at the hospital at once and that no one would hog the baby or our time.
Remember that even when you have visitors, the nurses and doctors still come in and interrupt you to check on you and baby. This includes checking blood-pressure, heart rate and ahem, stitches.
So, the less people that have to shuffle into the busy hospital hallway at any given moment, the better.
What if my family gets offended?
We made sure to let everyone know well before I was in labour (like 35 weeks) that we would A. be attending the birth with no one else invited; and B. that we would notify everyone via text message when we were in labour etc.
Well, there is always someone who is going to be offended about not getting a personal phone-call. And how did we deal with this? Well Alan having just become a father was in no mood to deal with family politics and he swiftly told said person to suck it up.
You see, when you become a parent, everything else just isn’t important anymore. You are instantly stronger, having endured the most amazing experience that anyone can hope to have.
We decided to do it this way as everyone was treated the same, no one was the ‘first’ to find out etc.
That person quickly got off their high-horse and came and visited the new addition to the family and it was never spoken about again.
The choice to have Alan run the show was definitely a good choice for us. I was in no state to chat on the phone or send messages to my family. With Alan quietly conversing with the tribe I was able to focus solely on the task at hand, delivering a healthy 3.8kg baby boy.
Having a baby is an experience that everyone wants to be a part of. Sometimes these offers to assist are welcomed and sometimes they simply are not.
More first-time parents are choosing to not have anyone except their spouse in the birthing suite and several more are opting to not have any visitors at the hospital at all.
Of course, family politics are not always so simple and so having a game plan for the day is important.
If you are nearing the end of your pregnancy journey and looking at how to tackle this facet of the day, I encourage you to use the above templates to draft your announcement text messages.
Think about when you will send them and who you will send them to.
Hopefully it will allow you a little more sanity when it comes to notifying a bunch of people when you may not be as articulate as you would like to be.
Download the FREE PDF of these text templates HERE
Don’t forget to pin for later!